My Life In Slow Motion
I'm completely obsessed with video. I practically came out of the womb with one of those old, cantankerous VHS video cameras mounted to my shoulder. So, it's only natural that I use a video term to describe how I feel about my current stage in life.
I feel like I'm moving in slow motion.
I don't view this as a bad thing- quite the opposite actually. I did it on purpose. Too often we spend our time so focused on the future that we forget to enjoy the present. I'm not saying don't plan for the future. I'm all about that. Just don't live in it, or you'll never feel fulfilled.
I decided long ago (insert Whitney Houston reference here) to take my time with life. I think it's a lesson I learned from my mom, who was forced to take care of her mom and her newborn baby, at 16 years old. And while she never complained about it, I know she was hopeful that my life would turn out different.
Like most young girls, I couldn't wait to grow up. I wore make-up before I was supposed to. I had my first boyfriend in second grade... whom had I married, my name would have been "Sunny Summers". Yeah, I know. It totally sounds like a stripper name. My dad used to say I was "13 going on 30". Thankfully, I didn't wait until I was 30 to slow things down.
It started in college. I went away to school, which gave me an opportunity to figure out the type of life I wanted. I decided to really focus on my career, because neither of my parents were able to. I knew it was going to take time, hard work and sacrifice. And that's exactly what I did through my mid twenties. Then, at age 26, I got married. Most of my friends had been married for years. I waited because, prior to age 26, I was focused on my career and completely selfish. Again, on purpose.
Next month, I'll turn 31 years old. And I'm now at the point where I'm ready to become a mother. It took me awhile to get to this point, but motherhood isn't something I take lightly. In my opinion, being a good mother is one of the most selfless things you can do. And to be honest, I just wasn't ready to make that commitment before now.
My new interest in motherhood has shown me, once again, how much slower my life is progressing when compared to other people my age. It actually makes me feel young. For example, as I'm writing this post, I received an email from one of my childhood best friends. As eight-year-olds, Heidi and I were practically inseparable, but we lost track of one another when she moved due to her parent's divorce. Yesterday, I found her on facebook. She's now married with three kids, ages 13, 11, 7 and one on the way.
It's moments like this that make me stop and realize how different my life is when compared to others. I still feel like the better part of my life is in front of me. There's still so much to do and experience. I'm just enjoying life.
Mission accomplished.